Memoirs of the Bitter Sweet
by Clarissa Frey
Summary: An ancient war of three races, a diplomatic marriage, a love that could change the world, a woman who must decide between love and the victory or the defeat of her race. She holds more power than she knows, he will go further than any other for his love..
1. Prequel

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

_A/N: Haha! Another one (no it's not Genesis...obviously, nor the first chapters of Edward's POV in Primrose) but something completely different! Unlike my others, this will be a short one, with a maximum of six chapters. Credits to inspiration go to the Brothers Grimm, Wagner, Dante, Homer, Killswitch Engage, Shakespeare, The Book Of Spirits (off the top of my head, I cannot recall the author) and a Hawaiian legend. Wait until we get around to the pairing (or you can cheat and have a look at it on my profile page...)_

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**Memoirs of the Bitter Sweet**

_By Clarissa Frey_

_**Prequel**_

_My time of being reborn again is coming to a close. It is indefinable and inevitable and to think, to hope so otherwise is trivial._

_There is not much to write, however, there is much to say and tell. And it is here that I sit in the study of the tower that I am locked away in, very much a like to Rapunzel, there is however (and of that I am sure) a difference between Rapunzel's plight and my own. She was imprisoned for her beauty or something like that (I never had the patience for fairy tales) whilst I, on the other hand am imprisoned for my role in a pointless war, amongst other reasons and in my uncles' study nonetheless!_

_For this reason alone- that my own uncles imprisoned me for selfish reasons- that I rip the bloody, written accounts of pointless battles from yet another of my uncles many tomes, to write my own account- my story, for there have been a many amount of events, so terrible and unbearable to speak of, so much so that my heart grows heavier than before just to dwell upon them. Then there are the events that need to be spoken of, for they are great._

_You, whoever you are do not understand the tries and customs of our world, nor the price that some, if not all of our kind pay for them. My heart is heavy with a decision that should no, nay, will not be made and a many tears would have been spent of such a choice, if such a feat were possible. Even now, whoever you are, I know that you are confused- what type of person cannot cry? – But to be confused is natural and I, the storyteller will endeavour to explain to the fullest._

_Here, I will sign my name and say no more, for a more appropriate time in my writings will come to explain all that has happened- that moments of utter happiness and bliss and the moments so horrible, the betrayals. But, there is much hope, that in reading this, that my life, my second life, will be the last to be taken in this bloody war._

_Always, always do I send my love,_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	2. The First Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

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**The First Letter**

_Before I begin my true tale, I must first tell you how I came to be, how I came to live two lives. For one cannot understand a story without necessary details, for without a history, you cannot understand this and my first life was lived as a mortal. I was a weak, pathetic woman (for when I lived, the life blood flowing through my veins, women were as equal status to animals). Things in the village where I lived were simple (albeit, the memories of my human life are hazy). My second life, the one in which I live now, I am immortal, a vampire- not exact in akin to those in the great books, but alikeness enough._

_What one must understand is that the process one must endure to become a blood drinker, a vampire, is agonizing- three days of pain unrivalled by the worst of human tortures. But I will not and am hesitant to go into further detail on such an evil process. All that I can write of my change is that I do not know who turned me into a creature that inspires nightmares, who committed the atrocity of delivering the venom in my veins. Even today, I do not know what actions I would undertake should I meet my creator in the flesh._

_After my rebirth, I was found and adopted into the Volturri coven by a vampire (and their leader) named Aro. He and his brothers- Marcus and Caius became my uncles, though I do say that such an endearment is not fitting anymore I daresay, but more of that will be said later._

_The years passed and I learnt to control the raging thirst, ever present in the back of ones throat, and it must be controlled (the thirst that is) or sated with human blood, for it is the only thing to truly sustain a vampire, otherwise a carnal frenzy born from the thirst overtakes all logical reason of a vampire- we are built predators, everything that makes the essence of a vampire spells 'predator' and our enhanced sense of scent, tries our control when around humans._

_And as the years slowly moved past, I moved into a position of importance within the coven- I used my beauty- enhanced by the change to a vampire- to sway travellers to visit our castle. Essentially, I was the one to bring humans to us so as to satisfy our thirst, my looks were the ultimate temptation to men. Men, who were always the easiest of humans to sway- the slightest brush of a gloved fingertip on their skin, a glance or smile in the market on murky days (for our unnaturalness is evident in the sunlight, for we sparkle like a thousand diamonds) was all it took to bring men into the castle and more often than not, our coven would feed from the blood of men._

_As a newborn (a newborn being a vampire who had been in existence for less than a decade) I would sit and watch (always, fully sated, I would be) one or all three of my uncles spill the blood of a human and turn away from it and it was through this process that I watched them create (for that is the only word that I can use to describe the process of change) Jane and Alec, twins who possess terrible powers. Many of the Volturri Guard, as we came to call ourselves, had already come to my uncles, joining the coven or had been created by them and I would watch Jane and Alec, struggle as I had to conquer their thirsts and join the Guard. Still now they do not join the Guard completely, staying close to Caius or together, by themselves. The ferocity of the skills possessed by the Guard scared me much and even now, after spending centuries together, I would still be fearful, but if anyone were to scare, it would be my three uncles._

_My relationships with my uncles varied. To Marcus, I was like a daughter, to Caius, I was a favoured and loved relative and to Aro, I was a combination of a daughter and (for this is the only way to express the feeling I would have when in his presence) a tool. I still remember the first time that I had been sent away from the Volturri Castle, over the seas to gather still more humans, what Aro had said to me-_

_"You must complete your task with due diligence child. Be wary of creatures in forests, stay away from the forests and not once, should you show your eyes to a human, nor to let them touch you Heidi dear, for will you be prosecuted more fervently than a witch would"_

_Aro's words had chilled me to the very core, despite my freezing body temperature. Recalling back to that day, I can remember the concern in Aro's eyes, but also the careful and calculating gaze that he held when my scarlet eyes met his._

_"I will take heed of this uncle and return as soon as I can be"_

_I had said to him, clueless as to all that was happening. Now, I wonder why I hadn't inquired as to why I was to stay away from forests- logically that would be the safest place for me. But to know now is too late, for instinct tells me that if I had known what I know now, to have seen what I have seen now, much could have been avoided._

_Life continued on and whispers of violence between humans and shape shifters- the natural enemies of vampires reached me, but I thought nothing of it, for I was a young one in the eyes of an immortal and I would not be expected to understand such things. Whispers, also of humans hunting vampires, foolishly, I spoke of them to Marcus and he dismissed them as much as the others._

_So, I foolishly ignored the whispers of battles between humans, shape shifters and vampires all but swallowing what I now know to be lies that my 'uncles' told me and my years as a newborn and then my years as a member of the Guard passed. _

_Now, that you know enough of my kind and my history, we can proceed to the true story, the one which spurred me to write in my uncles' books and it is here, that I will sign my name-_

_With love,_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	3. The Second Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

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**The Second Letter**

_One must take note that for vampires, one year can seem like a minute in our immortal lives and it's because of this, that we are able to recall with exquisite detail, events that have long since passed and it's also because of this, that we are able to survive amongst humans with relative ease. And now, that you my reader, know of this, I can now tell you that I still had no knowledge of the war, or my part that I was soon to play in it when I was called into the spacious library of the Volturri Castle by Caius. There was good news to be had, I had been told and I had hastened to the library, eager to know the news that involved me so. I knocked on the door and waited to be asked to come inside and when I had been granted entry, Marcus had bid me to sit down on the cushy lounge_

_"We have found a mate for you"_

_Aro told me fondly, pride was in his voice. I looked at my uncles, confused, for I had thought that I was the only one to be able to find my mate, nobody else. But I did not protest; for, I reasoned with myself that if the marriage did not succeed, I could hopefully end it._

_"Thank you uncle"_

_I had just said. Caius had smiled, a rare sight to be had (for Caius usually sported an unhappy face, unless he was in the company of his own mate), Aro was expressionless and Marcus' reaction to my easy acceptance had puzzled me the most, he wore an expression of unease._

_"I beg your pardon, but when am I to meet him?"_

_I had asked, for my uncles did not like to be spoken to without permission, a trait, I now fully understood (for they felt threatened, that we would question their decisions, after all they are the leaders of the coven)_

_"Once, we have sent word of your acceptance to the marriage, we will arrange a date"_

_Marcus said to me, his tone lifeless, again, I dismissed the all to obvious signs that there was more to the situation, but then, we must remember that I was ignorant to all. And so, I left the library and went about my business of providing the sustaining life blood for our coven. I remember the hard look that Chelsea had given when I told her of the news that I was to meet my mate (for mates in our world were together for eternity) and her anger at her words, for aside from my Caius and Aro who had mates, of the Guard, only Chelsea and Afton were mates in the Castle. I remember laughing when she punched the stone wall, causing the walls to shake and the stone to crack, sending dust everywhere as she flew from the room, Afton was with us and he touched my shoulder_

_"You must understand Heidi that your mate cannot be chosen for you"_

_He said to me, sorrow in my voice. I had looked at him with disbelief at his words and for the first time in my second existence, I wondered if everything that my uncles had told me was a lie._

_"My uncles lied to me?"_

_I asked Afton with disbelief. Afton merely shook his head and shrugged. Now, I must explain that later, much later (many months), I happened upon the fact that my uncles amended the truth- the marriage was to create an alliance with men- a diplomatic marriage. This was the first of the betrayals that my uncles set upon me, not once however did I confront them. But I cannot describe the heartbreak at this news- that my leaders, my family thought I was only useful to bring humans to drink and to marry off for the sake of an alliance. _

_So I, like so many other things, ignored them. I reasoned with myself, after my conversation with Afton that if I forgot the incident, things would return to normal- to a certain extent and I did not see Chelsea for many weeks and when she returned to the castle, she wore a haggard look (she objected to my marriage and the lies my uncles had told me and for that, she was punished) and did not speak_

_"Heidi, she needs to feed"_

_Felix, one of the favourites of the Guard told me. We had fed only twenty four hours previously, our thirsts were sated, indeed, we had to clear all humans (for humans lived in the castle as well) from the castle for their safety, that was the extent of poor Chelsea's condition. With much haste, I hurried to my room, it was night time and in Volturra, the men would be found in the pubs and within a minute (for vampires also possess an incredible amount of speed, we move almost as fast as sound) I was ready to depart. _

_I can recall with preciseness, the outfit I wore on what is now the most important night of my two lives, for I have worn numerous outfits and some are hazy in my memory. That night, when I was finding men or women for Chelsea, I had dressed myself in a green and white dress, white lace decorating the edges, peasant style sleeves. My hair was styled in waves and lace up sandals and a white clutch completed the outfit. Afton was waiting for me outside my quarters anxiously_

_"Please hurry"_

_He pleaded and it was at that point that I saw the extent of his love for Chelsea. The weeks that she had been absent had taken an immense toll on him. I then nodded and kissed his cheek, whispering in his ear_

_"I will be back as soon as able. Have her in the feeding room"_

_With a curt nod, I darted through the castle, as fast as I could run, running into the heart of the city, music pounded all around me as humans danced and I slowed to a walk, entering the first pub that I came too. Our heightened sense of smell meant that I could discern between those who were intoxicated and those who weren't and that night, when I entered that pub, I all but had to fight myself to not crinkle my nose in disgust at the smell that barrelled into me._

_Quickly, I went about my business and I soon had two men, willing to follow me back to my home, as the Volturri Castle is one of immense speculation and any man would gladly welcome entry to it, to discover its secrets. Leading my prey by the hands, I smelt the stench moving quickly towards me and I pushed them inside the castle, into the waiting hands of Chelsea as a hot, creature barrelled into me. I managed to roll back upright and face my adversary, which was revealed to be a gigantic wolf- it snarled at me and I cocked my head to the side, for this creature had greatly intrigued me._

_"What are you?"_

_I whispered to it, I wasn't sure if it could hear me and I quickly discovered that the creature had excellent hearing. I received no verbal answer, only a snarl and I was frightened of it as it advanced towards me, until, I am all but ashamed to say- I was sitting, curled up into a ball on the ground from fright_

_"Why are you sitting there? You're meant to attack me"_

_A deep voice asked and I looked up to be confronted by the most beautiful man that I had set my eyes upon (and this is something to say for I had seen many attractive men), he stood in front of me, wearing only pants, his long hair cascading around his shoulders in waves. To be simple, I was mesmerized by him and like me; he seemed equally mesmerized to see me_

_"I am sorry?"_

_I said to him, unsure as to what to say to him. He regarded me, slightly amused and I did the only thing I could do, for his gaze on me was like fire- hot and dangerous- so I smiled at him, still though, I did not stand_

_"You're part of the Guard?"_

_He asked and I bared my teeth at him, for it was obvious to me when I first met him, that he knew of the beings that lived in the castle and I was on edge already._

_"How do you know our ways?"_

_I had demanded of him. He held up his hands in submission and it was then that I realized that I was standing, we were of near equal height- whoever this man was, and he was but a head taller than I._

_"What's your name?"_

_He asked me and I was flattered, regardless of the uneasiness whirling through me, that this man, who, it was then obvious had been the creature, wished to know my name_

_"I am Heidi"_

_Then, he smiled at me and held out his hand in greeting (and oh! How I would have swooned at his smile if I were still human!). Hesitantly, I took it in mine and savoured the stark contrast in temperatures and I knew, that this person was dear to me by mere instinct- I would die for this man_

_"Well Heidi, it's a great honour to meet you. I am Embry Call" _

_Embry Call. I remember thinking that the name was perfect for a man such as himself, though, I could hear his disdain at his name. That day, I met my mate (though I of course did not realize at that moment). That day, my fate was sealed, but I dare not write more now, for my heartaches and the pen shakes with my grief. I can hear footsteps approaching the tower and so, I will once more sign my name here-_

_Forever yours-_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	4. The Third Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

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**The Third Letter**

_Another thing one must take into consideration is the height of devotion a mated vampire will show to his or her mate. If the other is danger, they will defend them until death and be equally protective otherwise. This, is similar, if not the same with shape shifters, though their mates are known as 'imprints' (this was told to me at a much later date than the days I am due to recount) and like vampires, they would go to hell and back to ensure their mate were safe._

_My encounters with Embry Call was not short lived, though I did actively seek him out when I was outside of the castle for all most three months after our initial meeting and every time I failed to seek him out, the inevitability that Embry Call had gotten under my skin jumped at me every time the failure of missing such a foul smelling, yet wonderful man struck me. Still, despite my frustration, I went about my business as if nothing had occurred to make me so distraught and then, stupidly, I gave up hope of seeing him again._

_Then one day, when I was meandering down the street, chatting with people, advertising the Volturri Castle for tourists- for us vampires to sate our thirst, someone called to me and I whirled around at the voice_

_"Fancy seeing you here again"_

_Embry said to me, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. He knew what I was doing that day and he did not approve of it and for the first time in centuries, I was ashamed of myself and what I was used for in the Guard._

_"Yes and may I ask why you are here?"_

_I asked him, as equally, if not more suspicious of why such a creature- a being who could be a man and a monster wolf- one that was described as a shape shifter in a book that I had read in the library, in secret of course. Embry shrugged at my question_

_"This and that but the bottom line is, you should be dead at my hand"_

_His statement unnerved me at the time and made me feel relieved as well. He held his hand out to me and without a single thought of self preservation at what he had just told me, I accepted it and he pulled me through the busy streets at a speed that was all but the same as my own and soon we were away from civilisation, lost in a forest_

_"Embry, why are we here?"_

_I asked him, suspicious and I was slightly fearful, even though the trust I felt for the man was at a high I hadn't known existed._

_"To be alone. There are things I must ask you"_

_Against all logical thought, I didn't pull away from Embry, like I should have, for his words made me suspicious but, the feelings invoked by simply having his hand enclosed around mine, made me feel as if, no matter what he had to ask of me, things would not take a turn for the worse. But I did not like his tone when he spoke of the things he had to ask of me_

_"What is your role in the Volturri?"_

_He demanded and I gaped at him in surprise and in anger at having such a question be asked of me. At the time, I had felt threatened, if he knew so much of the Volturri, surely he would know of my role in it? His hard expression softened_

_"Why don't you tell me shape shifter?"_

_I told him quietly, I had felt like I was falling apart inside and I hadn't understood why, I had felt like if I had told Embry, he would disappear and I would never see him again and that scared me more than I could ever imagine._

_"You do not know what is happening?"_

_I had shaken my head and I saw an expression of great disbelief as well as relief cross his face. Still, I had stood watching Embry Call- the man I found so stunning and trusting fight an internal battle with himself, over some unknown reasons._

_"Embry, are you well?"_

_I had asked after him, quite worried for him, I was. He just looked at me, still struggling with himself._

_"Do you have a partner?"_

_He finally said his voice hoarse. I could see the tears crystallize in his beautiful eyes, like my answer would cause him pain. I was confused at his question and wondered if he referred to a mate, so I answered as best I could._

_"I am to meet my mate soon, we are to be married"_

_I had told Embry proudly. Whilst I was still suspicious of what was coming to pass, the prospect of meeting my 'mate', especially after knowing Embry, had made me despair to the peak that I would cry with unshed tears- always when I was away from the Volturri Castle, for a sign of weakness in the Castle was dangerous, showing weakness within a coven full of vampires with startling abilities, I know of fates of vampires who had shown weakness in the coven and they were never seen again the next day._

_I had judged from the look of rage that crossed Embry's face, that he hadn't liked hearing this news or that this was seriously hindering plans that he might have- for I had up until then, always thought that people (whatever being they are) had some other motive in what they did._

_"How can you know that whoever this guy is, is your mate?"_

_Embry asked me and this conversation, to me- well I had thought that it was turning into a similar conversation that I had had with Chelsea. She hadn't voiced any of her thoughts in regards to the upcoming meeting with my mate ever since her punishment._

_"How come you have such an interest in my affairs?"_

_I had countered, sitting myself down on a log. Standing was fine with me, but I wanted to sit for some reason, the better to inspect the creature before me because it amused and disturbed me quite a lot that I desired to know what it would feel like if he were to touch me. Embry still hadn't answered me when I had countered his question with another. For, he was having another internal battle with himself._

_"You know, since that first time I saw you, talked to you, you haven't left my thoughts?"_

_Embry had said to me and my cold, un-beating heart had literally soared at that statement, for it had very much been the same with me._

_"Why are you telling me this?"_

_Truth be told, apart from being very flattered, I was also very suspicious, was the shape shifter trying to bring out information about the castle? So he and his pack could exterminate my coven? Yes, I had thought those thoughts and now, it was my turn to have an internal battle with myself._

_"Why not? Because sooner or later, your coven will smell me on you and wonder what the hell you've been doing with a shape shifter. So, I've decided, I'll take my chances"_

_He had said to me. I had looked on in confusion at what he had just said, until he swooped down on me and pulled me into his fiery hot, warming embrace and I felt and I still I do feel it now (when I dwell upon this particular memory and countless others, which in due course will be written), a finger touched my cheek and moved down to my chin, leaving a trail of fire as he went._

_"What are you doing?"_

_I had stammered out. Vainly, I had tried to not enjoy the sensations that were created wherever Embry's skin was touching mine but, it had felt like it should be happening and I didn't want Embry to stop._

_"I'm doing this"_

_Embry call said as his lips met mine in a fiery kiss that I would never forget and as Embry Call, shape shifter and a vampire's mortal enemy kissed me with such tenderness and fragility, like I was a beautiful china doll which could be broken._

_That day, I knew that Embry Call was my mate as he ran his hands through my hair with a tenderness that surprised me and whispered into my ear, words that I dare not utter nor write here. And as I had sat there, feeling the softness yet the coarse texture of Embry's hair and the hardness of his muscles underneath his browned skin. I had known that we were risking our very existences for one another. But never would I dream that it would end here. But, now, I will sign my name and be left to gather my thoughts, which overwhelm me now_

_Lovingly,_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	5. The Fourth Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

_A/N: So I've written the last and final chapter and as I've said to I think one person, this has potential to turn into a series of random pairings, what are your thoughts? And if you have insane pairing ideas, I'd love to hear them **OR **write of them yourself! Another thing, this doesn't have a happy ending like my other books...sorry._

_But it's such a change don'tcha think?_

_--**Clarissa Frey**_

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**The Fourth Letter**

_Like any predator either big or small will experience in their seasons alive, there will be certain times in the seasons where a lack of prey will present itself, most animals deal with this little problem by moving for the time period to another location, where fresh prey lurks. With vampires, this is a problem unto itself, for it would arise suspicions. It was these times that I would go out on extensive hunting trips and send people back to Volturra, the walled city where our coven is located and one of the other members of the Guard would then act from there._

_It was for this reason that was how I was able to spend as much time as I did with Embry. Of course, I kept my duty of providing the life blood to my coven, never once did I falter, even though Embry disproved of what I did and he tried always to sway me to hunt animals._

_"We have a coven, which lives on our land who hunts only animals and lives amongst humans, like you do Heidi…can't you be like them?"_

_He had asked me as we walked down the street in Florence, hands entwined and Embry's arm around me and when it was time for me to return to the Volturri and him to his pack, Embry and I would wash each other of our scents, kisses placed on each other's skin even as soap was brushed across after it. Those times, I hated most for after we dressed, we could not touch one another._

_Usually, I was elated after my visits with Embry, recalling the feeling of his skin against mine- the fire and the ice clashing together yet never melting or extinguishing. It elated the both of us so much so that words cannot describe. But one particular day, I returned to my coven with dread. Always, when returning I would change in my quarters and I was sitting in my chair, dressed in new clothing and attending to my hair, which was a wavy from its dampness when my uncle Caius came to my quarters._

_"Heidi, my dear, an audience is requested in the drawing room"_

_He told me and I looked at him, frowning at the expression that he wore- a glint in his eye and just the slightest hint of a smile. I knew then that I was to meet my 'mate' in the drawing room. I just looked at Caius, trying to stop myself from frowning, I was meant to be excited to meet my 'mate'._

_"You will need to wear something presentable my dear"_

_Caius told me as he retreated from my quarters, as he shut the door behind him, he added_

_"Ten minutes Heidi dear"_

_He informed me and shut the door smartly with a snap. I then let my head fall in my hands as despair as such that I had never felt before filled me, even when I had my doubts that I would ever see Embry again, it wasn't so great. So, it was with much reluctance that I changed to a semi formal dress, with beading and flowing layers of material, my hair out and framing my face. I just had no energy to do what needed to be done. Doubting thoughts filled my mind as I walked to the drawing room, looking my best._

_Like always, I knocked on the door and waited to be granted entry and when I was granted, I entered with what would've looked to be nerves, but I was actually afraid of what was going to happen on that day._

_"Heidi, meet…"_

_Aro told me and I had numbly allowed the human to kiss the back of my hand. For our guests and my mate were of the human race and this confused me to no end and when I turned to Marcus, wanting, no needing assurance that this was the right person, he nodded his head towards him and I moved closer to him. He touched my hand and I had refused the urge to shy away from him, for unlike when I was with Embry, I felt nothing- I felt complete and sated when I was with Embry, but with the human- there was nothing._

_Surprisingly, my reader, I do not remember much of the five humans who were in the drawing room that day. Only, do I remember one name and then I can't be sure that it was the name of my 'mate'- one of their names was Royce King Junior, if his father, Royce King Senior was in attendance, I cannot say for certain. Their faces are blurred and the image of fire and a blurred, sneering face; dragging the fire across my skin, is a vehement and prominent image that I do recall when I move to think of such things. Mayhap it's because of Embry, mayhap it's because of the little time we spent together or mayhap it be because of the times that we did spend together were agonizing. Some of those instances will be told of later- indeed, I wonder, sitting in the tower, imprisoned, and if it weren't for the human race- would my courtship with Embry been found out? Would his pack not be compromised? And most importantly, would I have been facing a decision that should, nay, never have to be made? _

_"Your marriage is to happen in two days"_

_One of the humans announced to us. The human beamed and I smiled widely at my uncles and then at my 'mate'. Only one saw through this charade and it wasn't until the very last, crucial moment, before terrible things happened did I know who it had been- the one who saw that I wasn't thrilled and ecstatic to be with my 'mate' and by then, reader, circumstances had changed and suspicions about me had arisen. If I hadn't left the Volturri Castle when I had, things surely would have been dire, if not the same situation that I find myself in now._

_What happened, you may ask? Here, I shall endeavour to explain, though I must move forward in the future from the days that I write about now and soon you will understand, for I will only speak or write of the humans once. I speak about these humans with the knowledge that I know of now and I speak of the knowledge that I had of the humans that I had when I met them:_

_In this war, the humans and the vampires, despite their hatred and predator and prey status were more united together than the humans were/are to the shape shifters. For whatever reason, reader I cannot say but that is so. The purpose of my marriage (that I now know of) was to form an unbreakable alliance with the humans for the remainder of the war- an alliance that had never been heard of in the long war from the time of it's origin to the present day, not once. So the question we must ask ourselves is- what changed to cause such an alliance?_

_The answer to that question was given to me, unintentionally by Sam Uley, one of the many leaders of the shape shifters and the reason is as so- the shape shifters were becoming too many. From what I have been told, as the vampiric population increased, so did the amount of shape shifters and so, it is because of the vampires essentially, that we come to the agreement for a dual alliance between vampires and men. You, my reader may see what path I am heading too- merely to confirm your guesses or just to continue my story then I shall write that indeed, it was through my marriage to a human that the sick and twisted alliance would be sealed between vampire and human and, it did happen- I was married off to some human without a second thought. Never, was I able to tell Embry what was to become of me and rest assured, I had made every excuse in attempts to be out of the castle, but I was forbidden to leave. _

_This marriage was one of the betrayals unleashed by my uncles and, walking down the aisle and one of the most heart breaking experiences of my life. For with my marriage saw me leaving the Volturri coven, temporarily of course, for I would return at the death of my 'mate'. Walking down the aisle on my wedding day (I wore a black bodice and dark, emerald green skirt- wearing white would be an irony and I was also in mourning), I was surprised to smell Embry and looking around, I spotted him- hidden in the human side of the congregation. That betrayal was my own, for I had promised myself to Embry (yet there I was, walking down an aisle) and I saw the furious, hurt and heartbreak on him and a possessiveness that scared me. That day, I finally admitted myself that Embry Call would and was willing kill over me and me for him._

_Suspicions, as I spoke of before arose at the wedding reception- hosted primarily because of the human tradition, when Embry caught my eye. I had stood and graciously excused myself, claming the need for the ladies room- a great joke amongst the female vampires. _

_"You lied to me"_

_Embry had accused me when he walked into the deserted ladies room. I had been trying to gather my whirling thoughts and rein my emotions in. I had turned around and saw tears in his beautiful eyes, the first time I had seen them trek down his face which I knew as well as my own now._

_"I never lied"_

_I had whispered. He shook his head._

_"You could have said you had a mate"_

_His voice had grown hoarse at the word 'mate' and I cringed at the harshness of the accusation in his words._

_"That man is not my mate"_

_I had said as I left the ladies room. Embry followed after a short pause. Talking as he did so, always keeping a gap between us, but I had smiled at one of the human leaders as Embry had grabbed a hold of my hand and turned me 'round._

_"Forks, Washington"_

_Was all he said to me, before he planted a kiss on my cheek, his lips were strangely cold on my cheek bone. A human was watching the exchange between us as he left, I stared after him. It was then, that my 'mate' came to me, sliding his hands around my hips, straying to places that were best left to the hands of Embry_

_"Come vampire. We must leave, if we are to be on the plane to America"_

_He whispered in what, I guess he had thought to be a seductive voice in my ear, but there was also a tone of voice that I had come to associate with being possessive, heard only by Embry as he whispered words of passion into what he called my 'perfect ears'. Turning around, I smiled brilliantly as I dazzled him. On the outside, I portrayed the sense that I was happy, on the inside, I was screaming and crying from the loss of Embry. We left for America that night. I remember seeing the same human conversing with my uncles as I said my goodbyes. It is only now that I realize that it was the human creating the suspicions._

_Yours forever,_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	6. The Fifth Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

_A/N: So, I know I said there was only going to be six chapters (a.k.a letters) but I think, it'll be going on for at least three or four more. But at the rate I"m going, it won't matter, see, an update already!_

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**The Fifth Letter**

_In my last letter, I told you my reader, of my marriage to the human. Now, I turn to write of the tales in America. You know that on the wedding night, I betrayed my true mate, Embry Call in the worst possible way imaginable; you know that the human who married me whisked me away from the Volturri Coven to America almost immediately with the intent to never return, until his death of course. My new home was made in the city of Seattle, America and, I must confess that I did miss the sight, smells and sounds of the Volturri Castle and the vampires within it, the antics of Felix and Demetri, the love emitted by Chelsea and Afton whenever you were in their presence. Those little things made me more than often homesick._

_But, my new husband was possessive and it is here that I speak of the fire he so lovingly threatened me with whenever I spoke of returning to my home to see my family, or if I spoke of any of the coven in general. Forbidden to keep correspondence with my coven, I knew nothing of what was occurring. Before, when I was with Embry, I had made light of his possessiveness when other men looked upon me, the possessiveness that my husband displayed however rivalled that of Embry. And every day, if I weren't the obedient female vampire, doing all that was ordered of me, fire would be my punishment and I began to lose all hope of getting to Forks, Washington._

_My salvation away from my tormenter and prisoner (prisoner in that he only let me out to hunt when I attacked him, for his lifeblood which flowed through his veins called me to drain him of his life force) came in the form of a most unusual young lady. She smelled of vampire, human and shape shifter and it was for this reason that I had stopped my hunt of her._

_"You smell of shape shifter"_

_I stated to her, I was crouched in front of her, never allowing her to escape, for I was desperate enough to want answers, if I were in Volturra, I would've brought this most unusual lady before my uncles, but on that day- I was sick of being burnt and threatened with that flame, tired of being shackled to a concrete floor, fastened to the ground with so much heavy materials stacked upon me as he had his way with me (and this inevitably arose memories of my time as a human woman myself) and those last shreds of hope of mine, that I would get to Forks, Washington had all but unravelled and disappeared._

_"Why do you ask?"_

_She asked me, fear in her voice and I straightened out of my crouch. Maybe it was because of my appearance that she was afraid, maybe it was my eyes- such a dark black that if you were to fall into them you would never find your way out._

_"E- A shape shifter told me to go to Forks, Washington and I need to find them"_

_I had finally managed to explain to her and the young lady brightened, as if she were able to do me service (which of course, she could)_

_"That is where I live. What is the name of the shape shifter?"_

_She asked me and it was then that I recalled the words that Embry had said to me, about the vampires that lived on his land. But, it was agony for me to say Embry's name after all that time spent as prisoner and the young lady, sensing this started naming names of what must be Embry's pack._

_"That one"_

_I said, after she had gone through twelve or so names. Without another word, she turned and left me be and I, crying no tears at thinking of the mate that I would never see again then continued my hunt, returning before sunrise to my husband._

_For me, I owe much to that young lady who helped me that day and I would do anything to know her name. Yes, I know now the town that she lived in was Forks, Washington and that she was of the coven that Embry had mentioned and that she glimmered in the moonlight, her chestnut curls fell to her upper thighs, her eyes sparkled with a life of their own and her lissom body moved with a grace personified by just her, but in my mind she is nameless and now, I cannot record her name here in the hopes that you, my reader can thank her for me. All I can tell you is that she lives in the mysterious Forks, Washington._

_After my meeting during the hunt, restlessness befell me, I knew that I was waiting for something- what it was I did not know, but I welcomed it, be it good or bad, for I reasoned that nothing could be quite worse than staying with my monster of a husband._

_Four nights and five days later, I was in our bedroom with my husband. I sat, chained into a chair, watching as he lit a cigarette and I braced myself for the single dot of fire when he pressed it to my marble-like skin, burning me. Even now, as I write this, faint outlines on my thighs can still be seen, for despite the vampire's healing capabilities, fire burns deep into our flesh and it is only fire and venom which can only mark a vampire._

_"Oh, Heidi, my dear"_

_Those words were the last ever uttered (or is sneered a more appropriate word?) by my monster of a husband as the door crashed down and he was thrown against the stone wall with a roar of fury and disgust. Indeed I was so overwhelmed that I did not immediately notice the golden eyes of the vampires who wrenched at the chains, effectively freeing me. When I was free, did I notice who it was that pinned that monster of a husband to the wall- battered, bleeding and begging for mercy. With one arm, easily holding him captive, I watched as Embry Call turned to face me_

_"What do you want me to do to this monster?"_

_Embry asked me, his expression had softened when we had locked gazes, but the hardness and fury in his voice were for those of my husband. When he received no answer, I watched as my husband died. I will not write into the further details of his death, it is not fitting and is too gruesome for any-ones eye's. But that day, three things about Embry, my mate and love were made certain to me and I shall list them here:_

_1) Embry Call had killed for me._

_2) He would risk the lives of himself and his pack to save me._

_3) His love for me and mine for him was deadly._

_Of course, there were more that I realized as I journeyed with him and his pack back to Forks, Washington, but the feel of his fiery hands in mine, the ice cold clashing with his fire was divine in feeling and I never wanted to let go of him and eventually, we came to a mansion of sorts and there awaited three female vampires_

_"Esme, Rosalie, Bella, thank you"_

_One of the shape shifters said to the three vampires and I was surprised to see the amount of trust between the shape shifters and the vampires, for all that I had been told of shape shifters was the hatred of them for vampires. One of the females, a beautiful thing eyed me warily_

_"Are you sure that this is the right thing to do?"_

_She had hissed to the one who had her hand outstretched to mine. The other female had shook her head and smiled at me_

_"She is Embry's and therefore deserves equal respect. Never mind that she is or was of the Volturri"_

_She had said in reply as I stood, confused and suspicious. Our hair flew around us in the wind and the cloudy day set shadows on the abundance of tree life, the most I had seen in my entire second existence, not to mention my first._

_"My name is Esme Heidi, I am Carlisle's mate. You are most welcome here"_

_Carlisle Cullen, a name the Guard knew well. He was once a respected member of the Volturri, but a feud over blood drinking between my uncles and him caused him to leave. Too my uncles, he was and is a thorn in their sides, more so for reasons that I am not privy too. When Carlisle took his leave, I was one of the few sad to see him go._

_"This is Bella and Rosalie. You met their mates in Seattle"_

_Esme told me smoothly and the two vampires who had set me free had come to mind. Immediately, I had tried to match the vampire to his respective mate. More introductions had been had and then I was shown inside where I was introduced to another female- Alice, who took me to her quarters to change me out of my clothes and she was the first to see the by product of months of torment under what was then my soon deceased husband._

_"Please do not speak of these to Embry or any other"_

_I had pleaded of the smaller vampire and it was the second time I had ever felt helpless. She nodded and then handed me clothes._

_Alice Whitlock (as formalities of her marriage are) or, her alias Alice Cullen and I became quite close in the months I spent there, we shared an infinity of clothes shopping and the fashions and Rosalie too joined our discussions when she had warmed to me, for she was wary for many reasons and I was glad of that. That first day with the Cullen coven was a hard one for me. I was forced to recount all that had happened in the year and one half that I had spent with the monster of a husband and it was that night, that I learnt of the war between humans, vampires and shape shifters. The night of realization in regards to my uncles. But when Embry and eight of his pack entered the house, all had been forgotten as I had thrown myself into his waiting arms_

_"I am sorry Embry, please, please…"_

_I had sobbed into his shoulder, begging for his forgiveness, as I smelt his scent that disgusted me yet compelled me to bury my nose in his hair or skin, to inhale that one smell forever. We were left in privacy as I clung to him and even as he kissed my apologies away for all that had happened there...there were always more apologies to replace them._

_As I mentioned previously, months were spent in the Cullen coven, many changes became me but again I hear footsteps and I smell the scent of my uncles approaching. Quickly, I must sign my name and continue this letter at a later date_

_With love and much haste,_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	7. The Sixth Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

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**The Sixth Letter**

_There is much to write about in my experiences in Forks, Washington and, as I stated in the conclusion of my previous writings, this letter follows on from the previous. The most prominent of all of these changes was the change in hunting habits. For the Cullen coven was participating in a treaty of sorts with the pack that Embry was a member of- they were only to hunt animals to satisfy their thirst and at first, I was apprehensive to do so, but, I was to stay there and had to follow their lifestyle._

_The first time I went hunting was with Embry. I found it a much more challenging activity to hunt animals than it had been for humans. Embry had joked that it was because I couldn't charm my prey as I had done for centuries. After many hours however, I had finally succeeded in bringing down Mountain Lions, draining them of blood. After hiding the drained animals, I turned towards the wolf that was Embry and who was watching over me and smile at him, despite the knowing fact that blood was dribbling down my face._

_"Wow, it was strangely fulfilling"_

_I had said to him. A bark came from Embry and I decided that was a laugh. I had rolled my eyes and caught the scent of humans. Still on edge from the hunt and the unusual sensation of the thirst in the back of my throat- considerably dulled but not completely sated, I had automatically fallen into a crouch. Immediately, Embry had stood upwind of my nose and his scent filled my nostrils, effectively distracting me. He had approached me as I tried to regain control and licked my face, his intelligent eyes inspecting me_

_"Thank you"_

_Was all I had said as I nuzzled his nose with mine and he licked my cheek again, leaving behind a wetness that smelled of the forest but then he disappeared and returned to me, in the form of a man and he took my hand in mine._

_"Are you full?"_

_He had asked me. I had shaken my head no, not liking the un-satisfaction that came with hunting animals and I had told Embry as such. He had just kissed me silly in response, whispering how much he loved me, how much he loved my eyes no matter what colour they were._

_When we returned to the Cullen's house, we were greeted with Embry's pack brothers and sister and the Cullen coven._

_"There are answers that we need to hear from you Heidi"_

_Carlisle had said to me gently. I had sat myself on the floor, still holding Embry's hand and had looked at Carlisle with a piercing gaze. They had given me refuge, whilst I recovered, the burn marks no longer were an angry black, but had paled and would further continue to improve and they allowed me to visit with Embry, trusting me despite my origin from the Volturri coven. After all, I was all but useless; I provided my coven with blood, nothing more. _

_"I will answer my best"_

_I had simply replied. The questions that were asked of me, involved much about a war that I had had no knowledge of and much was explained to me at my puzzled expression and equally puzzling questions which I asked in reply. Our discussion that day and night was quite the revealing one for me and much of my disastrous marriage was explained as well. That discussion also highlighted to me how ignorant I had been to the going ons of the vampire world._

_"My uncles were using me?"_

_I had blurted out when Carlisle, Sam Uley and others had finished explaining much to me. Embry's hand on my shoulder tightened when I growled with outrage when Carlisle confirmed my question. Things were further worsened at Carlisle's next words._

_"This is no easy thing to say..."_

_He had said_

_"But, your uncles- Aro, Caius and Marcus, they used you to achieve their own goals. This is much the same when I was in Volturra Heidi and one of the reasons that I had for leaving. My coven is impartial to this war but-"_

_As I listened to him speak, my thoughts and my very being were being clouded by rage, so much so that I was able to finish his sentence with much ease_

_"-you are as much as a victim as the many others in this war"_

_I had said to the room quietly. My voice had carried, despite the softness and filled the room. Then, I had stood and glided from the room. The first tree I came too suffered my fury at what I had been told of, that everything I had ever thought to be true had been a filthy lie, told to me and the Guard by my uncles._

_"You have a right to be angry"_

_Embry's low voice had said to me. I turned around to face him and for the first time, I was angry at him, maybe it was because of all I had been told, or maybe because I then believed that Embry's safety was now at risk because of what he had done_

_"Why did you kill him?"_

_I had demanded and Embry stared at me, dumbfounded. His answer had been a simple one_

_"It was necessary"_

_Was all he had said to me. Within that answer, however, was a much deeper answer. Embry had, like me, suffered from our separation (beforehand, it had only ever been weeks apart) if not more than I had, he saw what the monster had, was doing to me and his anger at that knew no bounds and there was his possessiveness that came with his wolfish instincts- I was his mate, only Embry was allowed to know me intimately and that instinct overrode all logical thought._

_"The humans could find you"_

_I had said in reply because despite my fury, I worried after Embry, for if he was convicted by the humans for what he had done, I would not be able to rescue him without arising suspicions, nor would his pack._

_"We have ensured that nothing will point towards us Heidi, we have fabricated his death"_

_Embry told me. I sank to the ground almost in relief, sitting amongst the wood that I had ripped from the tree in anger and Embry joined me._

_"You are free, you can stay here forever if you choose, with me"_

_He whispered in my ear and at those words, a surge of happiness had filled me, I turned to him and pulled him close into my arms, hugging him tightly, even as I began to cry tearlessly again, but this time round, it was because of happiness, happiness at the prospect of spending forever and ever with Embry, my true mate, the person I could count on never to betray me._

_After those hard days, things grew easier, I hunted animals and I accustomed to the dulled thirst, sated but never completely. Now, that I was informed of all that was happening in the world of vampires, humans and shape shifters I understood what was happening when news of the deaths of vampires, humans or even shape shifters in the secret, ancient war came along, especially those that were suspicious, as it was not hard to know that it had been my 'uncles' that had orchestrated their deaths. _

_More often than not, Embry and his pack were called to fight alongside others of their kind. Those days and nights were the worst of them all and it was through this worry and anxiety over the safety of my mate and his pack that Alice and I bonded, finding our infinity for fashion and shopping together, Rosalie too, when she had warmed to me._

_Then there was the days that I spent with the other mates of the pack, Emily, Kim and little Claire- for it was in little Claire that I found a maternal instinct that I never thought I would possess. And it was for awhile, that I regretted my immortal status, for how dearly I would have loved to be able to have children, to have little girls that were mine and Embry's only. _

_Too, I would spend time with Embry's mother. I was surprised to see her so accepting when we were introduced to the other. I had stood behind Embry, using him more as a barrier than anything and soon, I was a common sight in the town of Forks, Washington. Carlisle and Esme together had built and bought a house and land for me, a gift, they had said to mark the drastic changes in my life. Embry and his mother were a common sight, as well as Alice and after a spell, Rosalie. _

_I never was well acquainted with Bella and Edward as they distanced themselves from me, always leaving when I entered a room, or they entered a room which I occupied. For quite the number of years, I was hurt that they didn't want to be in my company, but like a lot of things that I had learnt to let go of, I too let go of the hurt that I had felt whenever Edward or Bella rejected my efforts to get to know them better._

_My second, true marriage was a day of sunshine, rain and glitter in a meadow dotted with wild flowers and smells so sweet that it reminded me of bread that was wet, sticky and sweet with honey. I was wed according to the laws of the Quillettes, the tribe to which Embry belongs too (for, if I were to marry according to the 'western' influences, much trouble would have happened). The rain covered us in a thick mist as Embry and I smiled into one another's eyes, the sun shone through weakly, creating diamonds upon my skin and when Billy, Jacob Black's father (Jacob being the beta of the pack, a truly amusing man) and the other elders pronounced us to be man and wife (or, as Emmett had remarked cheekily- shape shifter and vampire), he had whispered into my ear_

_"You are divine"_

_Before he kissed me sweetly and I again, cried with no tears from happiness. And we left our friends and family, escaping away from them for a week, in which, so many memories of intimate value (and none that I will record here for they are too intimate and I will not apologize for wishing to preserve such memories) were created. That, it was with little wonder that sixty years passed, so quick and so stealthy, had time escaped us, that many sorrows and happiness had occurred and that I was surprised to receive word from my coven- that I was to return immediately to Volturra without a second thought. _

_Here, my reader, I will leave the story, for the happiness of my story is now long over. Happiness that carved my very existence has been written about and now, soon, I will write of still more sorrows in a miserable war._

_May you find your happiness, like I found mine,_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	8. The Seventh Letter

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

_A/N: If you don't cry in this letter, I don't know what will, because I was bawling my eyes out when I was re-reading this XD_

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**The Seventh Letter**

_My return to Volturra, and the Volturri coven was neither eventful, nor was it monotonous. Though, in my sixty one and one half years of absence, many changes had befallen the Volturri castle and its coven. Upon my return, I resumed my previous task of providing blood for my coven, but it was hard for me to once again return to drinking the blood of humans, when I had drank of animals and I feared (for it was a great fear of mine and to this day, still is) that I would not be able to return to drinking animals and that I would not return to Forks, Washington. Now, I will speak of the changes that had happened in the coven and castle since I had left._

_The alliance that had been made with vampires and humans upon my initial marriage had meant an increased amount of human activity as well as inhabitancy in the castle. Walk through the castle sixty two years ago and the only signs of human activity (when we weren't pretending to be humans of course) would have been the 'tourists' that I had brought together and into the castle and they were our lifeblood supply. Then, there was the attitude towards bringing the 'tourists' into the castle as well. They were beaten and tortured before being drained of their lifeblood and I cringed at that and that simple fact was enough to keep me from returning to the life of drinking human blood, for there was the refusal to return to the early habits that we had before I had left._

_My cover story had been conjured in Forks, Washington. Carlisle and I had sat for one set of the days that Embry and his pack had been…absent and conjured the story that would be plausible and authentic. Together, Edward and Carlisle had taught me to avoid Aro's ability to touch a person and see their whole lives. Edward shared a similar ability, where he could read people's thoughts and to test my ability to lie straight to my uncles was done by Carlisle asking me questions about the past sixty one years and Edward would delve through my thoughts and this would continue until I had mastered lying straight to Aro via my thoughts. Upon entry to the castle, I had been all but ambushed by my closest friends of the Guard, who were ecstatic to see me to say the least. Chelsea accompanied me to my dusty quarters to help me unpack._

_"Who gave you this?"_

_She had asked me, upon discovery of the ring and necklace that Embry had given to me. The ring, we had exchanged at our wedding, a custom that Alice had insisted on. The photos were concealed inside one of my shoes and now, they still remain in my quarters, behind the painting with Embry's ring and the necklace that he had made- hand carved, wolf and a girl hung on the woven necklace._

_"A very close friend that I had made it for me"_

_I lied, like the professional that Alice, Edward and Carlisle had turned me into. Chelsea eyed me as I changed into a knee length dress, complete with boots and stockings._

_"Oh?"_

_Was all that Chelsea had said. I suspect that she had seen through my lie, perhaps even found the mementos that I concealed through my clothes and if this was the case, then I must say thank you Chelsea, from the bottom of my heart for never disclosing my true whereabouts, for, after my audience with my uncles, I would lie to the whole of the Guard of what had happened to me in sixty one years._

_I entered my uncles' study, the very study in which I sit in now and I sat, at my uncles' request in the inner recess of the study which faces the window and the window seat alcove._

_"Welcome back daughter, we have missed you"_

_Marcus said to me, I smiled and glanced at the human female who stood at the closed door with much curiosity._

_"This is Gianna, she has recently joined us. Gianna, this is Heidi. You see Heidi here, up until quite a few decades secured humans to satisfy a vampire's thirst and now that she has returned, she has resumed her original task"_

_Aro informed the female. She smiled at me and even I could see the falsity of her smile and it was clear to me that she disliked me for whatever reason. _

_Let me stray from my story to write about Gianna. Gianna (I do not know her last name) was employed by Aro himself five years preceding my return to Volturra. She was amongst those that were to be drained of their lifeblood. Like the others of her 'cell' (as the groups of humans came to be known as) she cowered, bleeding, screaming for mercy as they were tortured. But for whatever reason, Aro played god and plucked her from the 'cell' and she was spared. Quickly, she became a favourite of Caius, Aro and Marcus and remained a favourite until my return. Gianna was so favoured above all other humans, that she became jealous upon my return. Working as a receptionist and a personal assistant to my uncles, she was privy to much of the going ons in the castle and, who I believe to be a prime figure who exposed the truth of my years to have come about and be heard by my uncles._

_Now to continue on our way from where I left off and before I spoke in some detail of Gianna. Aro out stretched his hand towards me, for me to take his hand in mine, so he could probe my thoughts and I began to concentrate, as Carlisle had shown and taught me to do_

_"Take my hand daughter"_

_He said and I did as asked. There is nothing drearier than sitting and letting Aro see your entire existence, wanting to keep memories that are yours and yours alone secret. But Aro had the frightening ability to see all. After a long pause, he pulled away, satisfied and I was triumph- though of course, I did not show as such, to do so would mean certain death._

_"You have not had a good sixty years daughter. I am surprised however, at the reception that the Carlisle Cullen's coven gave you"_

_He remarked and, as previously rehearsed with Alice, I manifested an expression of dread onto my face. After the betrayals delivered unto me, I saw no problem in lying to my uncles and so, I lied. Recalling back to that day, I believe that perhaps Marcus, who knew me the best had seen through the lies that I had told that day but why he chose to remain silent is beyond any guesses of mine._

_"Thank you, daughter and I am truly sorry for what you have experienced. You may leave now"_

_Aro dismissed me and I all but swept from the room. Elated, I was for having avoided detection. I had then returned to my quarters and finished unpacking the 'few' meagre belongings I had acquired in my sixty years away. Almost immediately, I was called back to see my uncles._

_"You were required to drink the blood of animals?"_

_Caius questioned and I nodded, confidently, for that was one of the elements in the story that was truth. I was questioned further on this and then, sent out to bring in 'tourists'. I was careful not to appear eager to leave, for in leaving, I would be able to contact Embry. I had vowed to call whenever I was out of the castle and he, of all knew best the habits of the Volturri._

_After that first day back in the Volturri Castle, my months, then weeks, then days were numbered. Embry visited occasionally and we would reunite with one another in the rain, or in one of the southern cities of Italy. I had resumed drinking blood of humans, to please my uncles but, in secret, I hunted animals- a habit that I developed in remembrance of my time in Forks, Washington. The results, were, to say the least, pleasing, for it gave me causation not to feed as often as I had had to do before I had left Volturra._

_But now, I must skip the days of routine to what is now my last meeting with Embry. This time, we were in Milan, the fashion district. He had been accompanied by Seth, one of the younger shape shifters, for they were to make contact with shape shifters in that region. We walked down the streets together, laughing with happiness, I wore my necklace, there were Belladonna flowers in my hair, their colour vibrant, their scent delectable and I would laugh freely at Embry's antics whenever a human male looked at me with more than just curiosity in his eyes. We spent the day together and then, we parted, on the stairs of a cathedral. I gave him a Belladonna as a token, to keep for our next meeting and I left him with much reluctance. His last words to me were:_

_"Don't fall out of love with me"_

_My last words to Embry Call:_

_"The world will end when my love fades"_

_Words fitting of a Shakespearean tragedy, do you not think?_

_When I neared the location where I stayed, for I was to return to Volturra the next day. All of my senses disappeared and I had to stop moving. I was devoid of touch, smell, sight, and hearing, even taste, for how long, I cannot say. But, when my senses were returned to me, I saw Alec, leering at me_

_"Traitor"_

_Jane hissed and pain filled me. I screamed and a door opened, which I heard as clear as a cathedral bell, sounding the hour. _

_"Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. You have achieved what I thought possible"_

_The deep, slow voice of Marcus told me and the pain stopped, I was breathing heavily, a reflex action of sorts and a finger tip raised my head, so I looked at Marcus, I could see Alec and Jane to the side, the Witch Twins itching to inflict more upon me._

_"Why were you with the shape shifter?"_

_He demanded as a bolt of pain filled me once again and I howled at the agony of it all. But, I refused to say why, instead, I threw words at the uncle that I despised, which would hurt him most, I had hoped._

_"Because, I love him, because he would die for me, because I would die for him"_

_I screeched as jolts of pain seared through me. Marcus, snarled and left, leaving me to the merciless Witch Twins and for three agonizing days and nights, I was left to their torturous ways, for the duration of the return to Volturra. My arrival back was not taken lightly. The Guard, my second family treated me with disdain, Chelsea even and I saw with much reluctance in her eyes as she enacted her gift- to rip all emotional ties with a person- upon me. But, for whatever reason it didn't work and when I refused to denounce my love for Embry and to announce my allegiance to the Volturri, I was inflicted still more torture. What I experienced for two weeks was the intensified version of the experience the humans I gathered for their life blood experienced and more than once, I begged for an end to it all._

_Then, came the day that the torture stopped and I was thrown into the study that I sit in now, writing this final letter to you, my reader, who sat so diligently, who was willing to read my story and to hear another side, for I was given no tribunal like so many other vampires. Weakened, I had pulled myself to sit against the wall and Aro walked in, Jane and Alec in tow and I refused to cringe at the sight of seeing them standing behind Aro, menace radiating from them._

_"Tell us where they are"_

_Aro demanded of me and when I refused, more pain was delivered unto me until, I was literally, the equivalent of the human foodstuff called jelly, writhing only in pain on the floor. Then, I was posed with the ultimatum that I should be dwelling upon now, that the time frame to decide is almost concluded_

_"You have four days to decide. Give up the location of the shape shifters and we will finally win. Or you will die"_

_Aro told me menacingly and I was blasted with one last jolt of pain, before I was locked inside this tower. Here, we come to the end of the story. Here, I will divulge the final blow against the Volturri._

_For in those last days of my years spent in Forks, I had met with Jacob Black and Sam Uley and sketched (with the aid of Carlisle) the entirety of the Volturri Castle, given them information on the vampires who lurked in there and, even as I met with Embry, still more information was given. _

_You see, my reader, that though I will die and Embry, will without a doubt die without me, I have defeated the Volturri and this knowledge gives me a satisfaction that I cannot describe. I may die today, but it was not in vain. I took nothing and gave everything back in return. I have seen and experienced my fair share of unpleasant experiences, but, I knew and loved, love my mate and I saw the other life of vampires, the life, if I could choose, I would have chosen those hundreds of years ago when I had first been torn, unwillingly into existance._

_Now, my time has come and as I write this, I cry. I love Embry Call, I love the Cullen Coven, I love Embry's pack and their families, I love Chelsea, I love all of those who stand against me but three- Aro, Caius and Marcus and may their fate be terrible for the terrible deeds that they have committed._

_And most of all, I love you, my reader, for you read my story without bias and you listened to me where and when no one would and if my quarters still exist, I would ask you to return my belongings to Forks, Washington, the belongings that can be found behind the painting if it is at all possible. And, I forgive you, if you play a part in this war._

_My love and gratefulness for your time will know no bounds and, it is here that I will sign my name one last time:_

_--Heidi Volturri_


	9. Epilogue

_Warning: Violence is in this fic...and a uber healthy dose of tradgedy._

_Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot line._

_A/N: Apologies go to Endless Raindrops (who this is dedicated too) I tried to make it longer, but I couldn't. But, would you like more insane pairings? Keeping on with this A.U?_

_--**Clarissa Frey**_

_P.S: Onwards to **Genesis** now...then **Reincarne**, then **Primrose Paths**_

* * *

**Epilogue**

Heidi Volturri, buried the large tome she had been writing in underneath the stacks of other tomes as heavy footsteps were heard walking up the stone steps. Anxiously, she replaced the pens where she had found them- empty now and sat down in the alcove by the window, curling up there. The door creaked open, yet Heidi did not look at the newcomer

"Have you decided yet?"

The low voice of Marcus Volturri projected across the room, echoing off of the ancient walls. Heidi looked at the older vampire, hatred in her eyes.

"You should know of my decision already Marcus, I will not give them away"

Heidi snarled at the vampire. Marcus took a step forward in anger and she shrank away, knowing full well that he could torture her like no other

"He does not love you Heidi, its passion and nothing more, if you were to join him, you will not survive, you are a vampire and he is a shape shifter one of our mortal enemies"

Marcus insisted and Heidi's beautiful features contorted as she bared her fangs at the man, enraged at the man.

"Shut up, Caius, Aro and you, you will not manipulate me anymore, I will not marry a human for the sake of an alliance and I will definitely not give away the location of the pack"

She snarled at Marcus, tearing noises heard as she clenched at the material that shrouded the room. With a roar of outrage he slammed into Heidi, a crashing noise heard as the stones gave way from the force of the tackle, sending Heidi flying out of the tower and falling towards the ground, she screamed as she fell- she would not be hurt- it was an automatic reaction.

With a crunching noise, she landed on brush and chest heaving with sadness; she pushed herself up and saw members of the Volturri Guard, her friends- but friends they were no more, made obvious by the hateful and disgusted expressions. Heidi lowered herself into a crouch

"She is the traitor, you must kill her now"

The roar of Marcus from the damaged tower echoed and Heidi cringed at the lie, hopelessness spreading through her, for she knew she was to die

"If you touch her, we will kill you"

A low, dangerous voice was heard from the shadows, growls, loud and menacing were heard as twenty or so wolves emerged, circling around Heidi. One in particular stood close to her and Heidi fell to the floor, hugging the wolf to her

"Ah, Heidi, why have you strayed from your coven, to help this filth?"

The sneering voice of Aro asked as he moved to the front, the group of vampires doubled in size and the snarls of the shape shifters grew louder at the sight of the coven leader.

"Kill them and let us win this war"

The smooth voice of Caius announced and without warning the vampires lunged at the shape shifters, the fierce noises of battle grew louder and louder as vampire and wolf alike were torn apart by their enemy. Heidi and the wolf that was her love darted from the scene and were met by a wall of fire

"You will not escape us this easily traitor"

Demetri promised them, four of the Volturri Guard stood around, flanking every side of the renegade vampire and the shape shifter. Suddenly, Heidi contorted, screaming in pain as Jane inflicted her gift onto her and she fell to the floor, crawling and rolling in the dirt, trying to escape it, but to no avail. Jane finally let up on the pain and Heidi lay on the ground helpless

"Watch as we kill your lover traitor"

Demetri snarled and suddenly, the wolf fell to the floor, similar to Heidi as he too was subjected to the pain of Jane's gift

"Embry! No! Please stop, I will do anything, stop hurting him!"

Heidi screeched at Jane, pleading for her love to be spared. Jane grinned wickedly as the wolf stopped howling in pain; only too suddenly stop- Alec was using his gift of taking away every sense

"Watch him traitor, for this is what we will do to you, but ten fold"

Felix promised her and Heidi struggled in his arms, where he held her fast and she screeched as she was delivered still more pain

"Please, kill me, just leave him be"

Heidi tried again and was ignored as Felix held her head in place, forcing her to watch as one by one, the Volturri Guard descended upon her love, until he phased back to his original form- blood pouring from deep wounds and Heidi squirmed in Felix's hold, trying to get to him

"Did you see that wolf, she did nothing at all to stop us"

Jane snarled to the injured man, as he rolled onto all fours, coughing blood. Heidi, realized that she had been set free and flew to her love, holding him close, whispering into his ear, when he was hauled away from her

"Now, watch as she dies"

Alec muttered and Felix dived on top of Heidi, Embry roared with outrage and pain as Felix tore one of Heidi's limbs from her body and like Heidi, he struggled against those that held him, succeeding in getting free, he feel to the floor with pain as Jane once again used her talent

"No, no you're not going anywhere wolfy"

Jane mocked Embry as he was hauled upright just in time to see another of Heidi's limbs be torn from her body, her inhumane screeches clearing the area of all wildlife. Tears streamed down Embry's cheeks, as he looked upon a limbless Heidi, helpless on the ground, mud stained her hair and covered almost all of her body

"But the best is yet to come"

Felix told Embry and without further hesitation, he set Heidi alight, her screeches fading as she tried in vain to escape the flames. With a laugh, Demetri tossed the limbs into the inferno; the dried brush had caught alight from the flames.

"The book, read, in the study, the fifth book"

Heidi managed to screech and Embry struggled again to save his love, but to no avail, he was held fast by the other vampires

"I love you"

Heidi sighed, looking at Embry and she was gone in a rush of flames. Despair filling Embry and with a roar, he managed to pull free, lunging for Jane and her brother, tossing them into the fire even as pain and senselessness filled him and as he lunged for Demetri, he was caught by Felix and with crunching noises, his bones were broken

"Send Heidi my regards"

Felix sneered and without further ado, snapped the wolf's neck and he too, was thrown onto the inferno. Demetri and Felix melted into the night, as wailing sirens reached their ears, returning to the Volturri Castle, Aro approached them

"The shape shifters retreated, did you kill the traitor Heidi and her wolf lover?"

Felix nodded and without further word, turned away from Aro and once around the corner, darted for the tower, heeding Heidi's words and searching for the fifth book, which he found, following Heidi's scent and the fresh scent of ink on paper. With a dejected sigh, Felix opened the book, searching until he found the first of Heidi's writings. Sitting in the damaged alcove, he drew away the material, letting the first rays of a deep, blood red sunrise filter throughout the messed study and began to read

_My time reborn is coming to a close. It is indefinable and inevitable and to think, to hope so otherwise is trivial…_

Mesmerized, Felix did not move, only to turn the pages, reading Heidi's letters to an unknown recipient, which ached of sadness and happiness. On, through the day he read, the sun causing him to sparkle in the light until the last light of day disappeared

"What are you doing?"

An angry voiced asked as Felix shut the tome, finished. Felix stood and narrowed his eyes at Caius Volturri who regarded him warily.

"I was reading"

Felix answered calmly, trying to still the anger that chorused through him, knowing that the three oldest members of the Volturri had manipulated the whole Guard for their own agendas, manipulated them into killing Heidi and her shape shifter love, for reasons that had never occurred

"You know that this place is forbidden to the Guard Felix"

Caius' voice was dangerous as Felix glared at his master. No more, would Felix call him master.

"Leave now and forget all that you have read"

Caius ordered and Felix shook his head, standing.

"No."

"What did you say!?"

Caius asked, surprised at the sudden retaliation of Felix. Without another word, Felix lunged for Caius and tore his limbs and then his head from his body, effectively killing his former master. Disgusted, Felix kicked Caius writhing limbs away

"For Heidi and her love"

He snarled at the dead vampire and walked down the stairs, some of the guilt he felt for what he had done in the clearing having eased slightly. Without another look, he left the Volturri Castle

"Enough now"

He murmured to himself as he walked into the night, forever a nomad, the tome with Heidi's letters clutched safely to his side.

_**Finitio**_


End file.
